The Arizona Desert Lamp

Calling all monarchists!

Posted in Campus, Politics by Evan Lisull on 20 September 2008

College monarchists, that is. The Monarchist Party formed independently at the University of Maryland and Florida State University, largely in protest of what was viewed as the royalty-like domination of their respective student governments (sound familiar?). While initially begun as a tounge-in-cheek protest, the groups both went on to have electoral success: Maryland’s King Tom II won the student presidency in 1985, and the Monarchy Party held the seat through the 1988 election. The FSU group became one of the largest groups on campus, and held power through 1994.

Perhaps the success of these groups came from their platform proposals. Consider the platform of the FSU group, via Wikipedia:

  • “We will annex Poland.”
  • “Expand the FSU bookstore so that it carries more books than sweatshirts.”
  • (Another election) “Change the Union Bookstore’s name to the Union Gift Shop”
  • “Protection for all whales on campus.”
  • “Authorize privateers to raid and loot other campuses to augment student government budget.”
  • “Cross-campus ski lift to be paid for by new FSU lottery.”
  • (Another election) “Construct a subway on campus to connect with the new University Center.”
  • “Provide more free phones in the Student Union.” (Not humorous, but one which they actually accomplished before gaining power.)
  • “Offset future tuition hikes by seeking corporate sponsors.”
  • “Campus police must patrol on horseback and become proficient in the use of the lance or mace.”
  • “Greek Relocation Program: Move all Greek houses to one area farther from campus. Panhellenic events will be easier to organize, beer trucks can make one-stop delivery, and new areas for parking will be opened up close to campus.”

The article sums the party’s principles in the following sentence: “The party produced an election platform that was about a third satirical jabs at the campus establishment, a third royalist history jokes, and a third serious proposals.” That seems to be just the right balance of priorities, although one of their satirical programs (the Greek Relocation Program) ultimately was pursued in part. The Maryland party did not develop nearly as many platforms, but instead ran off of one main proposal: “Mr. Cooper promised to order construction of a ‘Security moat’ circling the campus and filled with ‘cold lager.’ A popular campaign slogan was “Moat Vonarchist”. He also decreed that any thermonuclear devices ‘full design, assembled and tested’ on the Maryland campus should be heavily taxed”.

Obviously, read the whole article. This blog hereby promises to be the leading voice in support of the Arizona Monarchists upon their inception. Perhaps they could be led by the deposed King Charles of FSU, who currently resides in Scottsdale. A little monarchism might be just the thing that ASUA needs.

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  1. […] Restoration begins Posted in Campus, Politics by Evan Lisull on December 10th, 2008 Neo-monarchism gets its start at Harvard: … The Waite-Petri campaign is adopting an age-old tradition of […]

  2. […] offers nearly limitless possibilities for high-end hijinks. Potential Monarchists already have the support of one publication. If the Rhinoceros Party of Canada can capture a percentage of that […]

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